Friday, 19 October 2012

Melayu Oh Melayu.

Melayu oh Melayu kenapa kau macam itu?


Above is the only line I managed to pulled out of my brain, and will continue in 'bahasa penjajah' as some Malays would called it. 
I was stuck for more or less fifteen minutes trying to find nice sentence for my rambling today, and   tried to express it in bahasa melayu, but failed.  
I find it very hard to jot down my simple thought.
I left school decades ago, and letters in working life are mostly done in English unless you're dealing with government agencies.

I know some must find my on and off criticism about my own race is like criticising my self or those surrounding me, and that I am an arrogant or 'berlagak' woman, and behaved like I know everything.

See, the typical problems with Malays--not all but most that I came across with (unfortunately), were those sort that find my thought and my straightforwardness very disturbing to the extend of appalling.
Oh, yes, this world is not big after all-- what more with the presence of world wide web, everything seems so easily reached. 
Informations and bumping into someone blog or ramblings are just so easy and can happen by any chance.

If you must know, the Malays having taught to be obedient, must follow certain rules.
This especially important among young girls and ladies.


But my problem is, I have been taught to have brain of my own.
My parents never set any mind- boundaries on how or what to think.
They never lay down any condition on who or what I have to be-- injecting input like 'oh you must be  a lawyer, or a doctor or engineer (mind you, and admitting it or not-- these are the professions looked upon by my race or maybe other race too) other than that you're nobody. Not smart, which sometimes like minded friends will make this as a joke.
I have a few but will share it some other time. It is on how parents try to slip in their conversation by mentioning the children's profession; if it is of the three above-mentioned.

Coming back to my problems with the Malay attitude about someone character. 
I don't understand why when you're a Malay lady -- you can't be out spoken?
They, (both men and women) will give you a thumb's up if you just keep quiet and keep your opinion to your self, BUT will definitely say you're very critical and having too much questions or a swagger 

 (menunjuk pandai) when you start to ask some things just because you want to get a thorough understanding. 

This is where I find one Malay proverbs-- 'rumah siap pahat berbunyi' -- which carry very simple meaning that when one task or issues has been okay-ed by everyone in a meeting for a project (as an example)  -- and when the project is on its way, suddenly there will be some who is going to criticised, or complain and will out of te blue have opinion, whereby during the period of reaching to that agreement-- none want to say anything and acted like everything is okay and acceptable.
This is very normal in the community.
I'd say maybe in Asian community because I have had the opportunity to work closely with one Texan power generation company for about a year at Tenaga Nasional Kapar Power Station.
These are rugged people.
These are people that will work the clock and delay means money flowing out. And these people wont spare you anything at all -- they hurled at you, they tell you off (again-- i am the only woman there), and being 28, and the youngest among big old giant mat salleh,  I broke down once when one of the fierce one swearing at me because of some work issue,-- BUT, the beauty behind the whole cursing and swearing is -- they will automatically change their hat once the day is over! And we can laughed and make joke after that. 

After few such incidences -- I learnt that this way of working IS the best way of working.
We never keep things under the carpet.

And I will from that day onward never keep things under my carpet -- personally or professionally.

If the Malays learnt to behave in such manner (not the swearing part) Im pretty sure creases shall be ironed out easily.
If the Malays learnt to accept another Malay (I have to bold this because the issue will be different if the opinion came from a non-Malay) trying to share opinion, or maybe criticised on certain things -- that above-mentioned proverbs might not be applicable in the next century of Malay compilations of proverbs.
Im serious.

What I find hard for the Malays to come up to is having a proper discourse, an eye to eye kind of understanding. The whys.
Lay out opinions. Or reasons.
Why it is not accepted.... etcetera, etcetera....

When voicing out opinion were taken as criticising --  then, the Malay problems will never end.
When issues are being brought up, and someone felt that the issue is very disturbing or arrogantly voiced-- and never take the bold step to personally ask 'why it is such' -- but instead attacking by cumulating supporters and start labelling -- the Malay problems shall never come to an end.  

No denying that the Malays holds on to their adat, and mostly to their religion (which sometimes they got confused between the adat and the religion and it becomes rojak ) and hurting people or saying wrong things are forbidden, and that words spoken must be nice and perfect all the time...-- I only got one question -- aren't we human? Or are you an angel?..

Put it this way, for those of you who simply like to judge people you dont know really well -- there are word of wisdom or saying " read between the line"... it has lots of meaning.
So does someone's writing, and opinion.
Not all opinions and people's thoughts must be labeled as arrogant IF it doesn't suit your reading. Or like the Malay say -- terasa.

Personally I do not see any problems with having own opinion and voicing it out, and shall continue doing so.

My last word would be: Siapa makan cili, dia terasa pedasnya. Even if you dont eat the chilli but you still feel the bites-- I's think your paranoia has taken to the next degree.




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