Saturday, 27 February 2010

3yrs old this & that.

1. Sense of smell.

My 3 year old girl is having this things about petrol smell.
She seems to 'enjoy' the smell of it and would ask us to wind down the window everytime we fill in the tank. Since we must wind down the window a bit to allow some air into the car, because the engine must be off, pumping in petrol since then will be a 'suffocating' moment, of course unless, she's not in the car.
This however, brought us into discussion about glue-sniffing activities amonngst the kids and believe that glue-sniffing and petrol smelling (which emit same nice smell) somehow has a certain component that are able to ignite that certain thing in our senses and our brain.
No wonder all those teenage kids find it hard to break from their disastrous glue-sniffing past-time.

2. First product of 'achievement'.

Again, on her, she had been introduced to Lego by her daddy at a very young age of 20 months, although it indicates that Lego only for 3+.
A week ago, after being ignored by the us while discussing some issues, she sulk and after a while came to us showing her airplane Lego she built herself without supervision. We were excited. Shouldn't all parents are? And suddenly we were like oohh and ahhs. We congratulated her on her achievement. It is good for kids (congratulating them once a while) which will help to boost both their EQ and hopefully IQ.

3. Words can be 'misleading'.

I was telling my husband to let the hot tap water run and she was near me doing some colouring. Her immediate response was " mummy, it's water. Water got no feet. It cannot run...". Well, it certainly put me to smile and I explained to her in the most easiest way to her understanding that, it was just way of us saying things. An expression per se.
The same thing between stomach and tummy. It's same thing with different way to saying it.

Sometime we adult tend to make children confused....

And we adult will get more confused in all sort of things confusing.
Pity the children.

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

an expat wife confession....

I am a business woman before living my life back in Malaysia to come to this country with my young child who was then six months old following decision made both by my husband and me. Decision was made for the sake of experience, change of environment and of course for the money offered. Initially, I had to dealt with daily stress of near 360 degree total change of life from fast lane and business suits to taking care of young child with the lack of experience, house chores and being 'compounded' by four walls day in and day out.

Although it bruised our no-argument relationship with my ever supportive and understanding husband, and learning to cope with things hoping that I will eventually swallow it nice and easy, i found myself every now and then feeling suffocated being at home and not able to get out of this drowning life of being a housewife. It is similiar to those type of dream where you're unable to wake up from.

Even though I have the luxury of time making up all those things I put aside due to busy life such as lots of reading, art and reconnecting back with 'friends' who I had deliberately put aside due to time factor, I am being deprived of good mind-stimulating conversations with people of experience and business acumen.

That is a fragment of my off and on inner-battle of I, me and myself.
Despite having thanking God of what He have been giving me my whole entire life and now - I still found myself thinking of the above most of the time. I sometimes realised that this so-called being an expat wife really not what I wanted after all. I would unquestionably be a reason of feeling so if I am just a wife back in my own country.

I am sure there are women out there facing similar predicaments between choosing over their well-built and high flying career and family. It's a tough choice to do but one had to admit to the order of life. The order where when a woman decided to get married and have kids, their priority will definitely change. Their lifestyle will be affected. Their time will be consumed by other things already.
Unlike men.

And being a person who would want to balance up things in life, becoming a good juggler -- I have to admit that I am drowning in my own resentment of being a full time housewife far away from my country and from what I want to do. I seriously don't know how others can do it. How some women enjoy being it. How they feel contented with it....

The difference between being a wife in your own country and a wife out of your country is a lot.
Being in your own country -- you will somehow able to take control of few factors such as having a career, time spent with extended families and friends whom would help give a breather once in a while.
But for those who are thousand of miles away from families and close friends, and adding more to it -- the fact that one had to give up a career, carrying the roles of nurturing mother and duty-bound wife -- it, could take a toll on one's emotion.

Although I am forever thanking God for giving me a man who is ever supportive and who understand my predicament, I still am the 'ungrateful' person who can't live without one thing called career.

Honestly, after what I had experience thus far, and having to carry the status of this very unavailing life I'd rather be running adrenalin catching up on time for appointments and getting stuck in traffic jam rather than being slumped in my house clothes without high heels and lipstick day in and day out.
God save me!

Monday, 22 February 2010

Liar Liar Pt II (Mahathir's version)


Liar Liar....Blair would be suitable to act in that movie instead of Jim Carrey.

And the 'why' that organisation invited the Liar to speak?
I basically think they want to learn how to lie just like him instead...

An interesting insight from this outspoken man.

Am I not right to say that most people lie?....

Suits yourself readers :-)

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Woods, Women and Religion

Woods says he'll turn to Buddhism for help

I find it rather amusing that people of any race and religion will find themselves use God and faith to find an end to any accusations especially the ones that they themselves created.

Do we as a human put God, our creator, on the altar as the only way to shut people's mouth of any sort of accusations just because He can't say anything back?

I have a very classic example and one that i tapped from my own race, so no one can tell me that i made up this scenario.
Take for instance when a woman did wrong thing such as bad-mouthing someone else or making up stories just to gain support and empathy from blinded supporters, she will non-hesitantly exclaimed God's name again and again in every of her conversation trying to convince gullible lots of her mischievous deeds. The ultimate word that will be said out loud is "Ya Allah" and automatically people would say that she is being truthful. She can't simply use God name if she is not right. That she had been wronged by someone else's fault. Which eventually she will be the righteous person.....

Did Woods thought of the same too? Perhaps.
And God is nowhere to be heard of His side of stories.....

Wholesalers warned against disrupting sugar supply chain

IPOH: The Domestic Trade, Cooperatives and Consumerism Ministry on Sunday warned wholesalers not to disrupt the supply chain for sugar.

Its deputy minister Datuk Tan Lian Hoe said the ministry had received complaints from retailers that they were being forced to buy other goods like rice and cooking oil in order to get their sugar supplies.

"I am warning wholesalers to put a stop to this," she told reporters after attending a Chinese New Year open house organised by Perak Gerakan here Sunday.

Tan added that there was no shortage of sugar in the country and that the ministry would come down hard on wholesalers who resorted to malpractices where supply of the commodity was concerned. - Bernama


I wonder why this is happening to Malaysia since Mahathir retired.
Endless manipulations...

Its hard to understand their manipulative actions and the government's real intentions.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

Mind problems.

No denying that the world today is infested with more and more implausible diseases and the one that is taking a good footing of it all is the disease of human's mind.
There are a lot of human mind problems.
Some of them were those that had already been from the early age of humankind (the case of Adam's son who felt jealous when the brother married his sister who is more beautiful than the other sister which he was supposed to marry).
Such is jealousy and envy.

There are also those which are not noticeable and very hard to identified such as character-problem called Split-personality disorder.
This disorder is not easy to recognised maybe because there aren't many disclosures on people with that mental sickness around, or maybe we've been mixing with only 'one' of the personality and are oblivious about the other one. How was that?

Anyway, I've been exposed to Split-personality disorders but that are restricted to only those on tv's psychological thriller movies. Hahaha.....
There's this movie I remember, about a guy suffering from Split-personality disorder starring Robert De Niro and Dakota Fanning in Hide & Seek . It is interestingly mind stimulating watching such movie which will undoubtedly make us think of the existence of such behaviour.

On a more serious note, I know few people with mental disorder, and one of them is from the inside. Why I call it mental disorder?
Well, take time and read to judge.
This person, whom has been responsible to create chaos within many times before, will without any show of remorse back stab in order to get things done the way this person wants it. Creating slanderous stories for own benefits and in order to gain support from others. Make believe non-existence incidences besides blaming own family to constantly taking advantage and never failed to bring to being uncalled for situations with those who is on on wanted list.

After exceedingly achieve creating massive havoc, this person whom continually send forth hurtful words or statements, together with thoughtless actions, will unfailingly, in the quickess span of 5 hours deny any hurtful remarks uttered and instead blame on something for the uncalled for behaviour....which evidently to be caused by other people or situations.
Really an achiver.

And interestingly, the ultimate repetitive behaviour which is very significant to those who know this person; is the ability to behave, pretend and deny things ever happen. And it's like the sky is always blue.
Conversation and behaviour takes on naturally without any show of regret or self-reproach.

Obviously this person is slacking something somewhere, and evidently have no friends.
More than that, this is one strong indication of mental illness which needed treatment.
I have witness and be involved more than enough incidences and it has been going on for more than a decade.

Yes, it may be easy to label someone with having character problems or mental sickness, but because that person is not responsible enough to get any kind of help or treatment, and the others who are not responsible enough to encourage, this lot of people will be roaming our streets and get on by as normal people.
And hey, who would want to admit that they're sick in the head anyway?

Moreover, we tend to assume that those irresponsible bad behaviour were the result of stressful work, or life or whatever. And we are not taking time listening and evaluating those behaviour.

As todays' society supposedly believe in the 'respect of human rights and one's privacy', we choose to ignore these behaviour unless it effected us directly. And we also chose not to be judgemental.
Besides that there are also some of us who'd subscribe to the 'i-don't-care' attitude thus making us an individual oblivious of our surrounding.
Do we honestly think it is at the better end?
What if the person that we know now, one day will be the one who would run amok on us?

Another of my experience was during my first semester doing Art & Design.
I remember this girl who I shared the room with in the hostel.
She was a jovial and fun girl who is also a chatter-box.
As the two of us shared the room, along with another two more girls, we quickly developed a close bond together.

Well, what I and the other girls found out later from this persona, is a very different character. The friendly façade was later tainted by some incidences. Her stories is getting more and more out of sense when me and the rest of the girls conduct our own little diagnosis.
One of her stories which I remember well was her about being a swimmer representing her school while she studied in one High school in the United States.

This is just too easy to notice because, we know it was impossible when we started to plus and minus her age and her stories just doesn't fit in. Fact will be fact and numbers can never be uncomputed.

Nevertheless, she didn't stay on long due to failure in the first semester exam, thus lifting certain burden off our shoulders.

I guess her behavioural attributes must be due to some kind of 'wants' or 'dream' that she wished she had or listen or saw someone near of having it.
I read somewhere that we are WHO and WHAT we want US to be.
Our attitude, behaviour and our way to react to any given situation was based on the type of group we were into; in other words ; who we mix with.

Hmmm...that sounds like all of us have some kind of minor split personalities too, no?
See, if our behaviour and actions are based on our environment and people that we mix with, then it is not at all wrong to say that 'every one of us are having split personalities' problems too.

Im sure we behave differently while we're with family members and become another when person with our friends.
If anyone dare to deny, I'd say you're a liar.

So, it is a decent behaviour that we must obtain while with different group. Than doesn't that sounds like Split-personality disorder. Maybe on the minor side?

I feel, no matter who we are, and who we mingled around whether young or old; we are being influenced to behave accordingly to the 'needs' of that particular group we in at that moment.

Je ne sais pas....

All I know, there are numbers of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
Although there's a lot of term and definition for every each of personalities, it only single to one; mental illness; which will result in more people with peculiar personality walking among us, affecting ours and their own thoughts. Feeling and emotions both.
The only way of knowing one is by keeping a close watch and evaluate their behaviour on a neutral ground.

Of course the term 'It needs one to know one' cannot be implemented here.... or could it?

Thursday, 18 February 2010

Liar Liar

Lounging when work are done watching movies does me some good most of the time.
I had just done watching some late 90s movie Liar Liar starring Jim Carrey. Not that i like Jim Carrey so much to be watching the movie, but the movie itself brought forward some character that one will come across in everyday life. That is the part that i like watching.
Seeing how they will be at the end of the day.

The story was about someone who would lie to get away with things or broken promises.

In life we sometimes lie.
Everyone of us.
Like it or not.
If anyone dare tell me that they had never lie in their whole entire life before -- that my friend is the Biggest lie ever!

Lying by blaming the traffic jam rather than admitting you got up late for an appointment with your prospective client is acceptable. Lying to kids about some 'adult-related' movies they caught us watching also will be acceptable because telling the whole truth about the whole thing when they're only six will make it even more complicated.
But when one lie about what they are not is totally not acceptable at all.

Perhaps, people with this attribute (lying) had not been bothered much by people or the social circle where these liars mingle and lives. This is because some people just don't bother much, don't care as long as their tail aren't stepped by the liar, and an obvious courtesy us human have ~ we want to avoid making enemies, and ripping the liar's off their dignity and self-respect.

So, what do we get in return? The liar will continue lying of course!
They will sway away among people with lies and their made-believe stories.

Although it is common, there are obviously many kinds of liars and the type lies.
There are people like the character Jim Carrey who'd lie to save him out of trouble, and there are people who lie just to gain respect from others.
Among this two character, the latter would definitely spelled horrid than the former. The latter I would not have any hesitancies categorising them as a compulsive liar.

Knowing one traits will have to come with experience.
I personally would not dare to admit I know this character if I myself had not been so gullible enough to be con by this type of people. When you know one, you'll know them all.
They have similar traits. They'll buy their way thru you by admitting and agreeing to your opinion and your lifestyle.

After a while you'll notice the inconsistencies in their stories, and once you got done putting the puzzle altogether, you'd be able to view the big picture clearly.

This compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit.
I must say that lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions and they will eventually, if not well prepared, be telling a different answers when you shot the same questions again later in the future!

This habitual liars are not shy to lie about everything at all, important or otherwise. Perhaps for them telling the truth had becoming a very awkward and uncomfortable thing to do and lying would be so comfy just like being wrapped under thick downs on cold winter nights.

And the most profoundly incomprehensible thing i found in liars are -- they don't feel a tinge of regrets, or remorse or guilt in their eyes when they lied. Somehow, i felt that they thought people that they lied to, are such a fool and personally i find it as a very hard slap on my intelligence.

My word for these sort of people; The truth will prevail and you better know which mask you put on today because people around you know what type of masks you had in your Pandora's box....

Have a nice day!

Monday, 15 February 2010

Polygamy on the rise in Malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR — Rohaya Mohamad, a 44-year-old Malaysian doctor, chats happily about her plans for the evening, a romantic dinner for five with her husband -- and his three other wives.
Rohaya and her family, which has produced 17 children aged between seven and 21, are among growing numbers of Malaysians entering into polygamous marriages, a phenomenon that observers say is linked to rising "Islamisation".

Critics say that the practice, legal for Muslims who make up 60 percent of the multi-ethnic population, is out of step with modern times and that it degrades the lives of women and children.

But Rohaya and her fellow wives say the arrangement works just fine for them, allowing them to easily juggle childcare, domestic duties and careers in their busy households.

The undisputed head of the family, 43-year-old husband Mohamad Ikram Ashaari, shuttles between the women's separate homes, spending a night with each in rotation before they join up on the weekends for family time.

He has taken a new wife every five years, starting with Juhaidah Yusof, a softly spoken 41-year-old who takes care of all the youngsters, and concluding with pretty 30-year-old Rubaizah Rejab, an Arabic language teacher.

His second wife, divorce lawyer Kartini Maarof, introduced him to number-three Rohaya -- who had sought the lawyer's services while divorcing her first husband, with whom she had seven children.

"She could see how busy I was so she offered me her husband. Initially I said no as I didn't want to hurt her... and my dad was really against it because polygamy has never been seen in a positive light," she says.

The family, part of the controversial Ikhwan Polygamy Club which says its mission is to improve the reputation of multiple marriage, believes it is a cure for social ills like adultery and pornography.

"Men by nature are polygamous, they have girlfriends and mistresses, they visit prostitutes -- it is normal," says Rohaya. "God has made men like that."

"But in Islam there is a way out which means you must be responsible for the women you want to be involved with."

They shrug off criticism that the club has its roots in Al-Arqam, a group banned by the Malaysian government which called it an illegal Islamic sect.
There has been particular controversy over plans to spread the club abroad, with branches in Indonesia to add to its network of 1,000 members across Southeast Asia, Australia, the Middle East and Europe.

Mohamad Ikram is a director with Global Ikhwan, a company whose diverse activities include restaurants and noodle manufacturing and which also manages the club.

"We want to say that polygamy works if you follow the rules of God. We don't expect people to follow but we want to change the mindset," says Rohaya.

The women say that in such a big household, friction is inevitable but they have learned to resolve their problems.

"It's a big family so it's normal that sometimes we argue, sometimes we get on, sometimes we get jealous," says Kartini.

The four wives seem to have an easy rapport with each other and their offspring, who troop in from school dressed in traditional flowing outfits before touching their foreheads to the hand of a visitor in a polite greeting.

But sociologist Norani Othman from pressure group Sisters in Islam says that these educated women and thriving children are not the typical polygamous family.

She says the practice's original purpose has been warped, and that the strict conditions to ensure women are fairly treated are routinely ignored.

"The Koran speaks of polygamy under certain circumstances -- for example, a war where you have lots of war widows and orphans. Historically a kind of emergency or welfare measure," she says.

These days, men can rarely afford to properly care for multiple wives and hordes of children, particularly in Malaysia's urban areas where the practice is becoming increasingly popular.

Her research has found that first wives, who often refuse to sanction the new marriage, are cut off financially and emotionally -- plunging them into poverty and depression.

Noraini says that up to five percent of marriages in Malaysia are polygamous, a figure that has risen as rules limiting multiple marriage have been watered down over the years.

"Over the past 15 years you can see a gradual increase... coinciding with the rise of Islamic revivalism, of Islamic fundamentalism," she said, adding it was likely there had been a further steep rise in the past few years.

"The impact of conservative Islam is that it gives an impression to ordinary faithful Muslims to just practice polygamy without seriously thinking of its repercussions."

But Mohamad Ikram and his family insist that polygamy can work well if those involved adhere to the rules laid out in the Muslim holy book, the Koran.

"I consider myself lucky that I have four wives, it reduces the temptation to commit sin," he says.

"Even though it's already enough, there's always the desire to have more -- one isn't satisfied with just four," he adds with a smile.


I came across this news yesterday in one local newspaper. It was originated from the news agency AFP.
I was somewhat appalled to read about the woman's (Rohaya) admission to polygamy.
Yes, i am a Muslim. And i have to admit by the syariah law. With that i have to also accept that any Muslim man who are 'suitable' and have the 'affordability' can and allowed to marry more than one.

Yet, it must be agreed that no one would dare to challenge the fact there are many men out there (in Malaysia i.e. because this news is focusing on the country and its inhabitant) who can't afford to marry more than one-- will unfortunately managed to dupe ladies into accepting their hands to the world of husband-sharing and the troublesome avec heartache being absorbed in a polygamic family.

I remember one incident back in the mid or late 90s where a man was married to twelve women at one go! That i am sure a totally different case altogether.
(I remember this well because i was covering the news about this homosapien who had then left his wives and many children after being apprehended by the authorities) and that the families were temporarily sheltered at one individual house outside Kuala Lumpur.

Ok -- Let's get back to this news.
I do not know the real reason behind the 'boost' my country received for having this AFP writer jotting downs news on this topic...(well perhaps other news related to economic and the country's being aren't tasteful enough for the news agency to tap on Malaysia and the local newspaper to have it printed on the right page.)

I seriously would like to challenge the reason the writer or observers (as she mentioned) said why polygamy is on the rise in Malaysia --"..... a phenomenon that observers say is linked to rising "Islamisation".

Was it actually the rising of "Islamisation" or was it actually the Muslim men (here in Malaysia they are the majority Malays because they are born Muslims) are getting more manipulative and are maximising their 'privileges' as MEN in the Islamic contexts. The stories of husbands marrying more than one had been much talk about, and we have been exposed to all kind of reasons behind their intentions.

To the extend that neighbouring country's Islamic authorities in the north are being sought after by the ordinary to realised their marriage to the second or third wife, of course this is done when they did not receive any YES from the current wife.
All they got to do when they're done there was to register it at the auothorised department and pay some small fine-- viola! the current wife mouth automatically will be shut close.

This is what infuriate people such as yours truly because, just to legalised one's lust, all a man got to do is have the pathetic lady follow them across the border and shake hands with two or more witness and they can carry on having 'slumber parties' without committing a sin and being rest assured won't be caught by certain Islamic bodies set to catch Mulims in close-proximity.

So, what happen to the first wife, who had been loyal all the while. Doesn't her feeling being weight upon properly? Does lust and sex are the made of men making companionship, love and trust to be surpressed to the lowest in their head?

And perhaps for people like Rohaya (which i am very very sure is a very rare case) who wanted the shed of ' golden umbrella' in the hereafter days fall prey (or actually allowing themselves freely to be manipulated and surpressed) are being subjugated mentality and physically by a man rather than living a lone and free life, thus making her oblivious to her own feeling by sharing the boner with another one or two other women.

I guess the government Islamic authority should do some background check on this Ikhwan Polygamy Club and

its mission 'to improve the reputation of multiple marriage'.
I cant comprehend their believes that by being polygamous, the nation (with it's Muslim men so ever on heat!) social ills like adultery and pornography will be cured.

Whatmore when this sicko club are being hailed by women and one of them is this Rohaya with her statement that 'men by nature are polygamous, they have girlfriends and mistresses, they visit prostitutes -- it is normal," would definitely spelled that Muslim men especially are sex maniac. And maybe she had been introduced to that kind of men before she marry this 'godly' Mohamad Ikram guy.

She also said (unless it's a made up statement) --"God has made men like that."
Wow...!! I really thought that is way too much for her to say so and that her statement might be taken wrongly by some quarters who are not well versed by this polygamy and Islam.
As for someone who is in the 'don't know' zone, such as me, I'll say that she is putting the blame on God by creating men to be such sexually driven creature roaming around the face of earth!

Would I be wrong to say that Muslim men are only out for sex, and that the Prophet Mohammed (saw) actual intentions marrying all those women are taken wrongly or being interpreted to one's whims and fancy and by people such as this Mohamad Ikram and other men who shared same ultimate needs?

Imagine being married to a man who is taking a new wife every five years!
And the best thing about him is,he never married some troubled and poor woman, but 'coincidentally' choose and being introduced to those with qualification and working class.

Would i be wrong again if i thought that he and his mates would never put themselves into marrying ugly, blind or a poor widow with train of kids to really be the champion of polygamy and its actual reasons.

All in all i guess this Rohaya and Kartini are somewhat desperate for 'credit' God Almighty would grant them in the hereafter. And they are so overjoy watching and finding future wife(s) for their beloved Mohamad Ikram (who i am quite sure a damn happy man already for not having to search for new wife or run away to the border to get married, but instead future wife being introduced by his current wife(s)).

The last statement from this lustful man "I consider myself lucky that I have four wives, it reduces the temptation to commit sin," again is a definite remarks that he is a very lustful person, and would haunt brothels and have girlfriends if he only got one wife like any other NORMAL guy.

"Even though it's already enough, there's always the desire to have more -- one isn't satisfied with just four," he adds with a smile