Tuesday, 24 March 2015

RIP Lee Kuan Yew..(hopefully)..

...because as many people out there praising you after your death, and putting you at the altar as the "Founding Father" of Singapore -- there are as much people that will forever hate and curse you too.

You are treacherous, racist and modern-time communist.

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Health, wellness and fulfilment.

Im trying to get away from criticising about things, or people.
Or finding fault in other; which I think believe works much easier after I pulled the plug off facebook. Only to hook it on back once in a while to see the being of those I've once shared laughter and experience together.
Im still a concern person despite my eagerness to create a better person in me and ridding unwanted energy surrounding me.

Maybe it is a little bit too late given the wasted years; or perhaps it is not, because nothing IS too late while you're still breathing -- to plant goodness in life.
To savour life experiences in whatever form it might come.
The term 'I should've' -- I tried very much to reduce in my daily life as far as I can remember.
It might put a little weigh up on the shoulder, but once you're used to it, it will become part of us.
For example; of me trying to sort out why the existence and continuations of this certain toxic behaviour in someone I know, which has been going on forever.
I have been dwelling on it.
I have been bitching about it.
And I have had endless gossiping sessions on it...the only thing I haven't done is write a short story of it or perhaps get a script writer to pin it down for me because I know this would obviously be a sellable story for the local television in Malaysia...(okay, now Im diverting...)

So coming back to that issue.
After years of seeking the whys and the whys....I finally let it go.
Of course it doesn't go immediately. It took a gradual steps...slow but very steady until one day, I realised that I have ab-so-lutely no feeling of remorse, or anger, or agitations whatsoever when facing this particular individual.

And I was quite surprised by the new energy in me...the thing that I never knew I could be able to do with toxic individuals..(sorry to myself, I do not know why Im like magnet to all kind of individuals) and I know that, it is the beginning of solace after all the years. And the learning of not clinging to our anger or hatred or any sort of resentment at all.
After all, I know, we human are created good and well by the One, only life and surrounding mapped and changed us to what we are. Good or bad.

It is good to feel good.
If exercising promotes endorphins in us, the feeling of total relieve of any resentment towards people does good to our soul.

We can feel better. Genuinely.
We can feel good and living life without having to compete in worldly possessions or personal gains.
The only thing is that, determining whether it is what we really WANT or HAVE to do for ourself.

When we lead our life having to do what we have to do in order to become like someone, or having any posses  a certain lifestyle even though it is beyond our reach -- it will not be permanent.
It will however be detrimental to both our mind and our fragile soul.

Instead, being mentally healthy and happy is paramount and achievable once we learnt how to troubleshoot those ruining emotions and thoughts.
The ultimate road to there is first, by knowing our self, how do we REALLY feel about certain things, and secondly work on it in order to justify those feelings and thoughts; whether it will bring us good feeling or it is just dust in the wind that will disappear unknowingly.

Forcing or expecting others to see how we look at things is not easy especially if our outlook in life per se are quite contrary. This, however is the test of our resistance towards own emotional fluctuations.
Once we're able to tackle the inner war,  we will not do anything that will make us feel uncomfortable, nor do we force ourself into doing something that we do not agree upon.
In return it will make us a more genuine and honest person -- first to ourself and then to others around us.

I have always trust that statement ' no regrets'.
Managed to lived up to it for this long, it would be a terrible lie if I say I have never done anything wrong or unjust in my life especially during my rebellious years of growing and searching for some footing in the society, but I took all that as my teacher.
Life experiences is our greatest teacher.
It what that help shape us. And we must learnt from our mistakes and held them up as our life guidelines.

It will then come to where we will be able to set free ourself from expectations of others and society's pressure. True happiness will only happen when we let ourselves do what feels right for us. When we do something because we WANT to do it, we will find it,  and we will embrace it and it will stick on to us for a very long time.
Most of all, we will adapt to it , and it will become us.

Having to have options in not allowing ourself be consumed in unwanted situations is the best, but without having it we can also free ourself by avoiding it, by taking another route. Let it be different from the norm, let it be radical, but when we believe in it -- it will bring us somewhere.
It is better than pondering on it and not doing anything to come out of it.

Recently I have learn something new.
I am quite a brand believer.
I will stick to a particular brand and this made me not wanting to try or look at any other options.
For example a kitchen towel. I have been sticking to this particular brand for its durability and moderate price (that's what I feel). I will not look at higher price with thin layers obviously, I will not try any cheapest one because the quality is zero (it's proven).
So one day, having time to browse the aisle at the grocer -- I saw one that caught my eyes and afer evaluating (by eyes) the material, I gave it a try.
Viola!...It is cheaper than the normal one that I have been buying all these years, the quality is compatible and most of all I learnt that brand-loyalty would close us from trying other new things.

So, let us try to change in order to gain fulfilment in life.

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Facebook = Depression

"Facebook leads to depression"... and like as if we needed to be reminded of that.

Posting picture of food on Facebook is a sign of depression, so on and so forth....but people still do it because they can't help but want others to see it.

Now, I came across this report where a recent study done by those smart people -- maybe they don't have facebook because they're bookworm-- of Nanyang Technological University, Bradley University and the University of Missouri Columbia found that heavy Facebooking can lead to the ugly feeling of envy -- which can ultimately lead to the more ugly feeling of extreme sadness.

Constantly checking Facebook to see what your friends are doing could lead to some serious depression it said.
However, I'd like take a nay for that because of "I-don't -give- a -bulls" self esteem I posses. Ehem...
Nonetheless, I do know and came across life testimonials of people who had become increasingly envious or jealous in their life just to show that "I can have that too ..." despite their unfavourable situations.

Coming back to the studies, it mentioned that some 736 college students were found feeling bad about themselves when they quietly stalk friends on Facebook and realise that their life doesn't measure up to those they stalked. -- And thus why, like we all know, Facebook is the best medium of showing of what latest gadgets we have, how happy and lovely the family is right up to showing how independent we (she was) are by pulling the baby out of our (her) stomach after the Doc cut open the stomach. Gross.
As for the vagina part, well Im not quite sure whether there's any 'direct to the point' pic or videos by any one but remembered there was once that went viral...

That is the key word.
That is basically what they want.
They want whatever they post to go viral, be it in a smaller scale amongst the friends of friends or  if it is dynamite enough it will have the prospect of going international.

"If Facebook is used to see how well an acquaintance is doing financially or how happy an old friend is in his relationship -- things that cause envy among users -- use of the site can lead to feelings of depression," said Margaret Duffy, a professor at the University of Missouri School of Journalism.
According to Ms Duffy, those feeling isn't just a college phenomenon because her nearing middle age can relate to that (depressing) situation.
For Facebook addict like her, checking on it is a huge part of  their life and  having the app on the phone checking it at work, at home, while in traffic, or in a subway station with Wi-Fi, I'd say there's no place that the Z(f)uckerberg creation didn't go.

No doubt getting updates of all friends or so-called friends or extended families, is a good way of being in touch especially for someone who is living thousands of miles away and that it is impossible for occasional latte  -- yes, Facebook has it's good side too.

But when material possessions or endless happiness portrayed in pictures of excellent deco, lavish lifestyles or good food constantly being spread on the table like there was a private chef cooking for them day in and day out -- IT CAN GET NASTY.

Okay. I must admit.
Nope, I wasn't an addict. But I do check on it everyday like once in the morning and once in late afternoon and that was like maybe five or six years back when Facebook was at the height of it. But at that time people aren't so showy. They're not so bold showing off their 34DD boobs or big huge belly with baby inside for people (friends) to see and sharing the pic of their baby sucking their breast for that purely 'motherhood' joy-hood.

It has changed.
People get more dirtier...and they get more crazier by sharing almost everything they do in and out of their house, alone or with their families and friends.

Those things can get overboard.
Frankly, I despised those showy lots. I loath it. Be it in the form of emotional or material.
What about those in their friends circle that don't have much.
Those that just came out of a relationship.
Those teenagers with mom and dad living separate ways...what would the affect be on them?

But because the founder and his minions are so brilliant, they have make almost all of other informative platforms such as news, medical or wellbeing site an option or a must to LIKE to enable us to gain access to their daily dose of information.

It sucks.
I have talked few friends out of terminating their account for the reasons those researchers indicated.
Told them, we still need Facebook but we can either delete (which I have no qualms of doing) or for those nicer people -- I suggested them to hide those incredibly loud friends from showing on their newsfeed.

And just like Ms Duffy said  -- "my only consolation is sometimes my friends confuse "there," "their" and "they're" in their posts about their lovely vacations and darling children. Then suddenly, I feel a little bit better about myself."....

Don't we human sometimes love it when we see people are not as good as their façade....