Im trying to get away from criticising about things, or people.
Or finding fault in other; which I
Im still a concern person despite my eagerness to create a better person in me and ridding unwanted energy surrounding me.
Maybe it is a little bit too late given the wasted years; or perhaps it is not, because nothing IS too late while you're still breathing -- to plant goodness in life.
To savour life experiences in whatever form it might come.
The term 'I should've' -- I tried very much to reduce in my daily life as far as I can remember.
It might put a little weigh up on the shoulder, but once you're used to it, it will become part of us.
For example; of me trying to sort out why the existence and continuations of this certain toxic behaviour in someone I know, which has been going on forever.
I have been dwelling on it.
I have been bitching about it.
And I have had endless gossiping sessions on it...the only thing I haven't done is write a short story of it or perhaps get a script writer to pin it down for me because I know this would obviously be a sellable story for the local television in Malaysia...(okay, now Im diverting...)
So coming back to that issue.
After years of seeking the whys and the whys....I finally let it go.
Of course it doesn't go immediately. It took a gradual steps...slow but very steady until one day, I realised that I have ab-so-lutely no feeling of remorse, or anger, or agitations whatsoever when facing this particular individual.
And I was quite surprised by the new energy in me...the thing that I never knew I could be able to do with toxic individuals..(sorry to myself, I do not know why Im like magnet to all kind of individuals) and I know that, it is the beginning of solace after all the years. And the learning of not clinging to our anger or hatred or any sort of resentment at all.
After all, I know, we human are created good and well by the One, only life and surrounding mapped and changed us to what we are. Good or bad.
It is good to feel good.
If exercising promotes endorphins in us, the feeling of total relieve of any resentment towards people does good to our soul.
We can feel better. Genuinely.
We can feel good and living life without having to compete in worldly possessions or personal gains.
The only thing is that, determining whether it is what we really WANT or HAVE to do for ourself.
When we lead our life having to do what we have to do in order to become like someone, or having any posses a certain lifestyle even though it is beyond our reach -- it will not be permanent.
It will however be detrimental to both our mind and our fragile soul.
Instead, being mentally healthy and happy is paramount and achievable once we learnt how to troubleshoot those ruining emotions and thoughts.
The ultimate road to there is first, by knowing our self, how do we REALLY feel about certain things, and secondly work on it in order to justify those feelings and thoughts; whether it will bring us good feeling or it is just dust in the wind that will disappear unknowingly.
Forcing or expecting others to see how we look at things is not easy especially if our outlook in life per se are quite contrary. This, however is the test of our resistance towards own emotional fluctuations.
Once we're able to tackle the inner war, we will not do anything that will make us feel uncomfortable, nor do we force ourself into doing something that we do not agree upon.
In return it will make us a more genuine and honest person -- first to ourself and then to others around us.
I have always trust that statement ' no regrets'.
Managed to lived up to it for this long, it would be a terrible lie if I say I have never done anything wrong or unjust in my life especially during my rebellious years of growing and searching for some footing in the society, but I took all that as my teacher.
Life experiences is our greatest teacher.
It what that help shape us. And we must learnt from our mistakes and held them up as our life guidelines.
It will then come to where we will be able to set free ourself from expectations of others and society's pressure. True happiness will only happen when we let ourselves do what feels right for us. When we do something because we WANT to do it, we will find it, and we will embrace it and it will stick on to us for a very long time.
Most of all, we will adapt to it , and it will become us.
It is better than pondering on it and not doing anything to come out of it.
Recently I have learn something new.
I am quite a brand believer.
I will stick to a particular brand and this made me not wanting to try or look at any other options.
For example a kitchen towel. I have been sticking to this particular brand for its durability and moderate price (that's what I feel). I will not look at higher price with thin layers obviously, I will not try any cheapest one because the quality is zero (it's proven).
So one day, having time to browse the aisle at the grocer -- I saw one that caught my eyes and afer evaluating (by eyes) the material, I gave it a try.
Viola!...It is cheaper than the normal one that I have been buying all these years, the quality is compatible and most of all I learnt that brand-loyalty would close us from trying other new things.
So, let us try to change in order to gain fulfilment in life.