Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Bric-à-brac -- Compartmentalisation of life.

It must have been human nature, not wanting to know any one or anything, or any information besides what they effortlessly see, being told or fed with.

I have been misunderstood maybe the whole of my life since my coming of age.
Image result for loner face cartoonNope, I do not think I'm delusional or are at any point of having what they called mid-life crisis. Far from the latter definitely.

But today it just got me thinking that people love to take an easy things out in almost all aspect of their life. Without having to put an effort to learn more.
They like taking things for granted because they just not bothered to value what is in hand today might slip off tomorrow.

Maybe when I was younger in my teenage life; if I'm feeling as such, I might get to think that I am somewhat imagining things and having unhealthy thoughts about something.
But now at this juncture in my mid life -- nope; I do not for a bit think that I am delusional whatsoever.
Nope I am not having these feeling because of my resentments towards any one or any thing and that this is my subconscious mind taking charge of my emotion in retrospect.

It is just pure full of reflection of  feelings after long gathering my inner 'philosophical' turmoil besides watching how the world revolves and how human treat another human --  I came to a conclusion that I will, in my personal capacity teach my offspring on the value of appreciating and learning about anything at all. Anything.

Be it a person sleeping on the walkway, to those blind people with able limbs goes around food stalls asking for money ,to the existence of flora and faunas and the whys clouds moves like that and the moon is visible when the sun's still up; and I will teach them to never take a seat back and burying their mind and heart inquest in anything at all.

Having been misunderstood by not just people who don't really know me well because of my rebellion and a little unorthodox perception about life per se, prejudices also came from my own family members. What more the extended ones.
But all in all, having been in such conundrum and having an alternative way of expressing my thoughts (I start writing journals since 12 years of age thanks to my father)...I am quite thankful that those experiences enable me to look at life out of the norm of my society. It makes me enjoy my being as me better and help me approach from slightly different angle.

I have been bashing races, even my own ; again I would like to state here I am not that proud to be one because I am a human. I am born as a female and I will die a female, thus why race is subjective. Unlike to most who think it is really important. Perhaps for the sake of having to hang on to that particular tribe in life. Scared to be a loner. Afraid of what they themselves fail to learn.
I have had friends more from another race than mine, I have had them judging me because of my political ideology. I have had them unfriending me in Facebook because of me raising certain issues related to them or their race.

But because of who I am, I honestly am okay with it.
I do not feel the pinch of resentment because I do that too.
I have no qualms pushing the delete button in my life because those compartmentalised space in my brain are quite limited. It only will be filled with healthy, informative, spiritual concoction and I make sure I am surrounded with good energy in order for me to reach my personal legend.

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